How we teach our kids

We have two sons — a rebellious teenager and a younger ones who are still quite young. My husband often tells me, “Leave the kids to me; they’re easier to guide if you speak calmly and don’t yell.” I usually want to reply, “Alright, let’s see if you can keep calm!” But instead, I politely say, “Okay, go ahead and teach them. I won’t interfere, and I hope they’ll do better under your guidance than mine.”

To start, he took them out of all their extra classes, much to their delight—they seemed like birds freed from a cage. He insisted they focus fully in school, understanding the lessons instead of rote memorization, and completing their assignments in class. “If you don’t understand, ask right away, and I’ll teach you at home,” he told them.

At home, he began teaching them life skills. They each had chores: cooking, washing dishes, hanging clothes, ironing, sweeping, and cleaning rooms. Our eldest daughter learned cooking, flower arranging, and dessert-making with me, while our son learned to clean bathrooms and tend to the garden with his dad.

He explained, “Learning school knowledge is for life, but at home, you should learn life skills, build good habits, and develop responsibility and cleanliness. These are just as important as academic learning.”

At first, I worried their studies might suffer and felt sad seeing their little hands doing chores. But he was adamant: “If you keep focusing only on academics, they’ll end up as adults who can’t do basic tasks.”

He pointed out that our daughter needed to learn skills beyond school to grow into a capable, graceful young woman with a balanced, thoughtful character. His vision was for her to be well-rounded, skilled in both mind and appearance—strong, considerate, and confident.

He also felt that our sons needed this approach. “If you only scold them, they’ll grow up rough and unhelpful. They need to learn respect for women, problem-solving, and basic household tasks. One day, they’ll have their own families and need to be supportive partners, not just studious people.”

More than anything, he wanted them to enjoy their childhood. “Let them pick their clothes, embrace their quirks. Instead of banning games, let them play for a set time. Guide them, don’t constrain them.”

He emphasized, “We work to support our family, especially the kids. Providing isn’t just about money, it’s about raising them into good people. Whether they’re boys or girls, they need to grow up with strength and resilience. Spend time with them, eat together, play together, and be present. They don’t need our money as much as our love.”

My husband believes firmly in a disciplined approach to parenting, which includes continuous self-reflection. He tells me, “Think carefully about how you’re raising them. If there’s something wrong, change it in yourself first, then guide the kids.”

Since the start of the school year, I’ve been surprised at how well his methods have worked. One is an excellent student, the other two are doing well academically, and they’re all skilled around the house. Our daughter is more graceful, and our sons are learning to be considerate and to support each other.

It turns out my husband isn’t just teaching the kids—he’s teaching me, too. I’m grateful for a partner who can guide our family with such strength and wisdom.